Anonymous
by BurningFumes
Summary: Bella struggeles with her rageng memories, what had really happened to her? who is this "Anonymous" all this she begins to discover through out the story
1. Chapter 1

_**Song for this chapter "Already Over" by "Red"**_

Prophase

_**You never go you're always here**_

_**(suffocating me)**_

_**Under my skin i cannot run away**_

_**Fading slowly**_

I'm standing in the middle of storm, I can feel the wind brushing through every part of my body, the rain is washing my face, that I can hardly open my eyes, I'm shuddering here and my teeth are shattering so hard, it feels like they're going to break.

"Go Back!" a once so familiar voice argued.

"Who's there?" I replied in my shaking voice, it felt like these nightmares when you scream so hard but no sound is coming out.

"Bella, please, please go back!" the beautiful voice which I became familiar with, whispered to me in a kind of a beautiful plead.

"Wouldn't you even give me your name?"

"You will know it my love, very soon MY LOVE!" the voice began to disappear till it became merely a whisper….

"Why am I so lost?…"

I closed my eyes as the storm began to fade , the hard wind became a barely breeze a beautiful perfumed breeze which you can not forget…"My Love" I couldn't get this beautiful soothing voice out of my head…

_**I give it all to you letting go of me**_

_**Reaching as i fall**_

_**I know it's already over now**_

_**Nothing left to lose loving you again**_

_**I know it's already over already over now**_

Then there was this really hard light focusing on my eyes, I squeezed my eyes and then forced them to open. .. the light was coming from way above me, when my eyes finally adjusted I could see that I was sleeping in my garden and the sun showing on my face, I must have fallen asleep while reading "Romeo And Juliet" wow what an influencing story.

I got up quickly and started running at the house, I had to prepare dinner for Charlie, then I would have some time to finish my school work, then maybe I could finish my piece of art for my upcoming presentation.

I know you might find it weird, but you know how authors can get attached with their fictional characters, well it is the same way with me, I dream about them , I get lost in their eyes and feel their passion from their voice, lately I've been involved with my mystery character "Anonymous" my final piece in the gallery. It all started a year ago.

But I always have nightmares when I think about this character, usually there is storm and every single time there is this beautiful soothing voice that just hunts you, but you just cant concentrate hard enough to picture the face of such "Anonymous"

For all I could gather was the eyes color, I've pictured it golden brown in which crystals where laid inside and melted with deep dark core. I usually felt lost picturing them, and I could hear his voice through them and smell the non forgettable perfume.

Dinner went on smoothly, Charlie usually enjoyed my cooking.

"So how was your day?" he asked me.

"It was nice, especially the weather!" ironic…"so, me and Alice are going shopping tomorrow" horror was echoing in my voice, well don't blame me because Alice plus a credit card plus mall equals complete madness! And I'm not even kidding.

"Well have fun with that!" he laughed at me , he knew I wasn't the shopaholic type of girl, after all I got that from him.

Dinner was over and after doing the dishes, I went up to my room.

There settled the incomplete drawing, only the gazing eyes are drawn,

"Who are you?" I sighed, "What are you?"

I felt a slight shiver down my back, like some one has put his hands on my back.

I closed my eyes and I felt a breathing beside me ,I could feel a mouth beside my ears, that slowly approaches and after a deep sigh says "You are not ready my love"

I looked back behind me so quickly that my vision was unclear for a second…

"Stop that!" I cried.. "You know what? What the heck?" I ran to the drawing and was going to tear it, when I felt a strong urge to stop what I was doing, I felt a fie rage in my chest, I felt my heart pacing quickening, my eyes were filled with tears until I stopped and then I fell to the ground…..

Flash backs came streaming to my head, I saw me standing on cliff and waves are wild below me, I hear a cry behind me "Go Back Bella" but I cant move, I have to do it, there is a piece lost inside me that I am seeking that is pulling me to the raging water. That was all it took.. I jumped, I was flying I could feel my heart pounding so loud, I could feel the adrenaline pulsate in my veins. I was free moreover I was getting near to him.

Then I hit the water, I belong down there deep in the ocean, my missing piece was down there. I felt comfortable .I closed my eyes.

I could hear his voice calling me "My Love, My Bella"…..then my lips moved "Edward"

I opened my eyes and it was midnight and I was sweating on the room of my floor, I said this word one more time "Edward"…

I felt my eyes fill with tears, "What is happening to me?"

_**You're all i'm reaching for**_

_**It's already over**_

_**All i'm reaching for**_

_**It's already over now**_

_**I give it all to you**_

_**I offer up my soul**_

_**It's already over already over now**_

_**Give it all to you letting go of me**_

_**Reaching as i fall**_

_**I know it's already over now**_

_**Nothing left to lose loving you again**_

_**I know it's already over now**_

_**It's already over now**_

_**I know it's already over already over**_


	2. Chapter 2 Memories

**This chapter is longer than the previous one, Bella starts learning about her past, more importing she starts to learn more about "Edward". This chapter is all *Bella's POV* . I've spend a lot of time searching for a song that fits this chapter and the one is "Memories by Within Temptation"**

Chapter 2:"Memories"

**In this world you tried,  
Not leaving me alone behind.  
There's no other way,  
I pray to the gods let him stay.  
The memories ease the pain inside,  
And now I know why.**

I didn't seem to be able to shake away last night's nightmare, I still don't understand what I've seen, I didn't remember that any of what I saw had happened to me, I was lost and there was no one around me that I can confide in what is happening to me, because if you simply goes and tell any one that you dream about a fictional character they would simply think you are crazy and advice you to see a therapist and I was no way putting my self in such condition.

I got up and had a warm shower to wipe away all my creepy thoughts, and then I was getting ready to get out with Alice. I've put on my dark leggings and a deep red blouse, I've a kind of obsession with the color, then I put on my black high heals. Then I've added only my necklace which I could never get out with, you can call it my lucky necklace or whatever. I then put on a little lip gloss and I was ready to go, I'm not the girl who covers up their face with lots of makeup.

I got into my red Ferrari , and I drove toward Alice's house, she lived there with Jasper, her boyfriend, well he is even more, he is like her other half, seriously. They are madly in love with each other.

I arrived at her house and stopped the car.

"Bella!" Alice screamed from behind me. I got out of the car to meet her.

"What happened to your eyes?" she asked "Haven't you got any sleep last night?"

"I barely got any, I've had lots of coffee yesterday" I said.

I didn't want to tell her what was going on with me, because the last thing I needed was pity besides I believe that 'Sometimes It's Easier To Pretend You're Happy Rather Than Explaining Why You're Not.'

"Oh, ok." she said, "come on let's go, we don't want to be late"

We drove to the Seattle where you could find all kinds of shops and stuff. Alice kept talking about how she was so excited about traveling with Jasper to "Paris" after all that was the main concept of our shopping today. But my mind was busy figuring out some other important issues, I know by now that I was far away from normal.

When driving to Seattle, we passed by a large meadow on the car's side, you cant see it clearly because it is surrounded with large trees, but you can see the sun rays penetrating the braches and finding its way to the ground and appearing like a spot light in a concert showing on the flowers below, it was such a beautiful sight.

When suddenly I've heard the voice again "Our meadow, it'll always be our meadow Bella….." I was startled, that I suddenly stopped the car, which made my body move forward and my head to hit the wheels so hard, however I didn't feel the pain of a hit, I hit like I was electrically shocked I felt my mind go blank for a fraction of a second. Then when my eyes could finally adjust, I could see a man standing behind the trees, he gestured to me to move forward, I tried to clarify my mind from what happened but I just couldn't seem to understand what was happening.

I got out of the car and started moving toward him. Something held my shoulders tight from behind, but that didn't stop me, my mind was actually blinded at that point, I had to reach him, when this time a figure stopped in front of me, screaming my name and begging me to stop.

I snapped out of it in a second to see what was really surrounding me,

Alice was standing in front of me with the most terrified expression ever "What the hell were you thinking?" she cried "Where you trying to kill yourself?"

Then I really saw where I was going, there was trees already but behind them was no meadow, and no one stood behind them, instead there was a high cliff, obviously I've lost my way while driving, and this was where I came, this was the exact scene I've seen yesterday.

**All of my memories keep you near.  
In silent moments,  
Imagining you here.  
All of my memories keep you near,  
In silent whispers, silent tears**

I couldn't seem to gather it all in my head I was far more confused that made it difficult for me to concentrate on anything, then all questions popped up in my head with crazy a speed, "why this cliff?" "Why this guy?" , "Did I even know him?" , "what had really happened to me last year".

"Bella! Are you ok?" Alice asked.

"I'm not sure" I sighed "Haven't you seen someone standing behind these trees?" I asked with confusion.

"What? No, I haven't seen any! I think we should go back, obviously you are not in the mood of anything today" she said

"No, I need to ask you some questions"

"Bella let's go, now is not the time for any questions" she turned away from me.

"On the contrary, now is the perfect timing, cause either you answer me or I will lose my fucking mind" I've raised my voice.

"Fine! But can we leave this place first? It gives me the chills"

"Fine"

I drove silently back home without any further words, and meanwhile I kept preparing the question in my mind, after all Alice have been my best friend since we were 4 years old, she knew everything about me, and defiantly she would know what have happened to me in that specific year.

We arrived at her house, I stopped the engine and we got out and entered her rather large house.

We entered the living the room, and sat on the large creamy sofa.

"So what is up with you? She asked me.

"I have no idea, I seriously don't, I keep getting weird dreams, it scares the hell out of me!" I closed me eyes trying to chase away the memory.

"What dreams?"she asked.

"Ok, I know you'll laugh at me or something but whatever, I am ready to trade being laughed at with my sanity" I sighed."I keep having dreams about…."I had to pick up the right words. "someone, obviously he knows me, he usually calls me "My Bella, or 'My Love' , then I'm standing on this cliff like the one we passed by today, and I have this urge to Jump….OFF THE CLIFF" ."Also I remember me saying the name…."Ed…" I sighed...

"Edward?" she asked

"Yeah Edward, you know someone with this name?"

"I am not supposed to tell you anything Bella, especially about this….."she broke her line.

"Alice I Have to know, I am going mad here!"

"Your dad wont like this" she walked away.

I laughed "Are you serious? I tell you I'm losing my mind and all you care about is my DAD?" I asked with disbelief.

"Bella, you don't understand" she said.

"Ha! Exactly I Don't Understand! And I HAVE to!" I stood in front of her and raised my voice. " please. " I pleaded.

"Ok! Fine, but remember You asked for it!" she said.

We steeled again in the couch.

"You had an accident last year, and you lost your memory well apparently not all of it because you still remembered me, Charlie, everyone except "Edward""she said.

"What kind of accident?"

She seemed to struggle with the words, then with a long sigh, she finally said "Bella, you were attempting suicide, you jumped off a cliff, you hit, and since then you never remembered him and it was better for you apparently you weren't going to let go of him except by this way."

"What?" I stuttered "Who is this "Edward"?"

She got up, went to her room and came back with a box in her hand.

"It's yours, but since Charlie didn't think it was a good idea of you to see them, he told me to take it and burn it or something, but I couldn't because I knew this day will come sooner or later" she sighed." You'll find in it everything you need"

I took the box, but couldn't seem able to open it. What if I broke down or something, no I would open it tonight when I'm alone where no one can see me suffer.

"Thanks Alice"

"Awe, honey remember you don't have to go through all this again, you can just let it go"

"No, you don't understand, I have to… when I was standing at the cliff I felt that my other half was missing that's why I jumped, I'm not complete….I need to find it.." I said. "I have to go now."

I drove back home alone, with darkness surrounding me, and nothing could take my mind off what I was thinking about.

I arrived home and put the box in my large bag, so that Charlie wont see it.

"Hey, you're early!" he said when I entered but he was more concentrating on the football match he was watching.

"Yeah! There was nothing special there" I said as I was making my way to my room.

"Are you going to bed that early?"

"Yeah, I'm a little tired"

"Would you like me to bring you something?"

"No, dad, I'm fine"

"Ok, suit yourself."

I reached my room and closed the door.

I got to my bed and got out the box, I stared at it for quite a while before actually having the strength to open it. On the top was a picture of me so happy and secured in the arms of the most beautiful man ever, he had the same eyes I've been dreaming about, his hair was shiny brown. He is taller than me, obviously, but there is something in my eyes that I cant seem to sort out, it seems like a beautiful emotion, happy, safe, loved….and his eyes just echoed the same.

Below the picture was a letter, it was a little wrinkle at the corners, a sign that it has been unfolded many times before, her writer had such an artistic font…

I started reading…

My Bella,

Reading this letter means that I've already left and you would probably hate me for doing so, but believe me it is for the best, I can not take your life away from you I can never be that selfish, you have so much great things to do with your life.

I promise you that this will be the last thing you hear from me, and then it will be as if I'd never existed.

Just promise me you wouldn't do anything reckless, and don't think about following me, cause that wont help anyone.

I want you to know that I've never stopped loving you from the minute I saw you. You'll always be my Bella, my Love, my one and only love.

I hope that someday you will forgive me for doing that.

I'd loved you, and I'll always will.

Edward

**Together in all these memories,  
I see your smile.  
All of the memories I hold dear.  
Darling you know I'll love you,  
Til the end of time.**

I felt tears collecting in my eyes, and I could feel a large lump in my throat chocking me, what was this? Who is he? Why did this happen to me? Did I commit suicide because he left me? We must have been deeply in love .I wanted to know more, I wanted to know this Edward, but how? I would have to figure a way to see him, I wanted my life back, I wanted my other half back, I want to know everything.

Inside the box was a bunch of stuff that brought up different memories, but all of them are blurred, nothing is quite clear, but I wanted to remember him, no matter how hard it ached my mind and heart, I don't care anymore.

It's pretty funny how everything can change in one night, when you suddenly discover that you had a past you never heard of, and a love that you could never imagine. I knew from that night that nothing is going to be normal anymore, I was caught by the word "Danger" in the letter, what situation danger enough to make you leave your love of life for protection?

I laid in bed with the letter in my hand, and endless thoughts in my mind.

"I am going to find you Edward" I whispered.

**All of my memories keep you near  
In silent moments,  
Imagining you here.  
All of my memories keep you near,  
In silent whispers, silent tears.**

All of my memories...

**Chapter 3 will be all about *Edward's POV* and the reason he left her for. ;)**

**Stories I recommend Eventual Eden, Tremble For My Beloved , Complacent Lies . These are the ones I've read and liked so far. :)**

**Other chapters will not be updated as fast as this one, cause I'll be away for a week or so, so I wont be able to write any.**

**Reviews are love, so keep them coming and Thanks :)**


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